Thursday, April 22, 2010


This is a two page letter that was given to me by my sponsor when I got sober back in 1998. My instructions were to read it at the start of every day. I am not sure who the original author was. It could be a collection of thoughts from various sources. By re-posting it, I am in no way trying to take credit for this work. I would give credit if I had any idea where credit was due. In it's entirety I believe that the message is powerful. I am copying it 'exactly' as it was presented to me:


Turn away from the crowd and its fruitless pursuit of fame and gold. Never look back as you close your door to the sorry tumult of greed and ambition. Wipe away your tears of failure and misfortune. Lay aside your heavy load and rest until your heart is still. Be at peace. For your earthly life, at best, is only the blink of an eye between two eternities...
Be unafraid. Nothing here can harm you except yourself. Do that which you dread, and cherish those victories with pride. Concentrate your energy. To be everywhere is to be nowhere. Guard your time carefully, since it is your greatest treasure. Reconsider your goals. Before you set your heart too much on anything, examine how happy they are who already possess what you desire. Love your family and count your blessings. Reflect on how eagerly they would be sought if you did not have them. Put aside your impossible dreams and complete the task at hand no matter how distasteful. All great achievements came from working and waiting. Be patient. God's delays are never God's denials. Hold on. Hold on fast. Know that your paymaster is always near. What you sow, good or evil, that you will reap. Never blame your condition on others. You are what you are through your choice alone. Learn to live with honest poverty, if you must... and turn to more important matters than transporting gold to your grave. Never meet trouble half way. Anxiety is the rust of life; when you add tomorrow's burdens to today's their weight is unbearable. Avoid the mourner's bench and give thanks, instead for your defeats. You would not receive them if you did not need them.
Always learn from others. He who teaches himself has a fool for a master. Be careful. Do not overload your conscience. Conduct your life as if it were spent in an arena full of tattlers...
Avoid boasting. If you see anything in you that puffs you with pride, look closer and you will find more than enough to make you humble. Be wise. Realize that all people are not created equal, for there is no equality in nature, yet no person was ever born whose work was not born with them (This may come across as very insensitive to some and taken out of context would most probably be. Remember that this is an actual letter written to me by my sponsor at a time when my biggest questions were 'Why did this happen to me?' and 'Why do bad things keep happening to me?'). Work every day as if it were your first, yet tenderly treat the lives you touch as if they will end at midnight...
Love everyone, even those who deny you, for hate is a luxury you cannot afford. Seek out those in need. Learn that he who delivers with one hand will always gather with two. Be of good cheer. Above all, remember that very little is needed to make a happy life... Look up. Reach out. Cling to God and journey quietly on your pathway to forever with charity and a smile. When you depart to eternity it will be said by all that your legacy was a better world than the one you found.

With Love,

Saturday, August 06, 2005

What to do...

Things are crazy in my world right now. Job problems, money problems, girlfriend problems which are stemming from money problems, car problems, about to lose all my worldly possessions in the pawnshop because I can't pay the interest and it's shit that I never should have taken to the pawnshop in the first place but I was desperate problems. I haven't been making blog entries like I should. So to the people who occassionally wander in here off of Raquita's page and ask yourself why I rarely seem to be updating I apologize. My head isn't right. I'm trying to spend as much time as I can with God now, because I feel like Satan is bearing down on me. Anyway, if you happen to run across this page if you would be so kind as to say a small prayer for me I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you and I love you, whoever you are.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Tagged by Quita

My best friend in the whole world tagged me. I'm not sure I'm a happy camper about that one. Here goes...

Five songs I'll always love:
1. Sweetback-Softly Softly
2. Maxwell-Dancewitme
3. Art of Noise- Moments in Love
4. Parliament- Flashlight
5. Curtis Mayfield- Freddie's Dead
BONUS: Bootsy's Rubber Band - I'd Rather be With you (yeah I'm showing my age... so what:P)
Now - what was I doing....
10 years ago: I was in College at Tennessee State University
5 years ago: Working for Carquest right after my dad sold out his store/taking MCSE classes
1 year ago: Was personal training at Gold's Gym trying to find the time to train all of my clients
Yesterday: Working at Bally's trying to find the clients to fill all of my time
Today: Saw John Legend at the Pageant with Common and De La Soul
Tomorrow: same thing I always do tomorrow... try to take over the world
5 snacks I enjoy:
carrot sticks,fresh garden tomatoes, peanut butter, almonds and cashews, granola
5 bands I know the lyrics of most of their songs: Queensryche, Run-DMC , Grand Master Flash and the Furious Five, the Violent Femmes, the Cure
5 things I would do with $100,000,000:
Give most of it away,
Buy those vintage Ferraris I have drooled over since I was a kid,
Buy real estate,
Become a career student at MIT,
Do it all (I'm gonna see the world and everything in it that I can before I die).
5 locations to run away to: New Zealand, The Bahamas, Alaska, Canada, Hong Kong
5 things I wish I could wear:
button down shirts off the rack,
open toed sandals,
designer sunglasses,
boxer briefs,
white without screwing it up
5 Movies: Forrest Gump, Equilibrium, New Jersey Drive, Pulp Fiction, Scarface
biggest joys at the moment:
Raymond Feist books,
working out,
talking with God,
seeing all the damage I did from crappy dieting go away again
(not neccessarily in that order)
5 toys: Resist-a-ball (lol my clients don't believe I actually have all this crap at home and actually play on it), olympic barbell + weights= good time to be had by all, computer ( i play a LOT of games online :P), my cell phone. pool table in the basement

Okay, since everyone who reads this has prolly already been tagged. If you know you haven't been tagged consider yourself tagged now. It's the honor system :P

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Tasty meal for health conscious people on the go

I did an experiment and it turned out rather well... It may be a little spicy for some people so if you don't do spicy it might not be for you. I eat usually 6-7 times a day, so I am 1. constantly looking for creative and inexpensive meals I can eat while I am out and about. 2. trying to find meals that will deliver high volumes of protein, have a limited impact on my insulin levels, and stay within a frame of 300-400 calories. Here is one such experiment purchased at my local grocery store (Scnhuck's in this example).
We will call this experiment "Spicy Smoked Salmon Wrap"
I purchased:
1 bag of 6 Tomato/Basil Whole Wheat Tortillas $3.29/6 = $.55
1 pouch of Chicken of the Sea Premium Smoked Pacific Salmon 2/$5.00=$2.50
1 container of feshly chopped pico de gallo ingredients (diced tomatoes, red onions, jalapenos, and cilantro) I used 1/5 of a container approximately $2.49/5=$.50

Basically, I flaked the salmon unto the wrap and spooned about 1/5 of my pico de gallo over it and rolled it up. I ate a complete and balanced dinner for about $3.55 plus tax and it was pretty tasty too. There are many things you could do to the wrap to add flavor or texture to it. For example you could spread hummus over the tortilla first or pesto or an olive spread. I also tried flaking grilled tuna steak on the tortilla and adding shredded cheese. heating it until the cheese melted in a microwave and then scooping the pico de gallo on. It made something akin to a tuna melt wrap. That was pretty good as well. If you come up with some other tasty healthy creations of your own that are simple to make I would love to hear about them.

Monday, August 01, 2005

Sugarwater Festival

Floetry, Queen Dana, Jilly from Philly, and Erykah Badass ripped it. Depeche Mode/Halo-in-reverse if you're feelin' me. They did it. I don't know how they did it, but they did it. And, my head hurts.

Seriously, I was riding home last night sweeping arms down in a descending arc going,"WOOOOooooooo". Queen Latifah's cover of the Mamas and Papas song California Dreaming was off the chain. The concert had a beautiful vibe, and I am glad that I was able to go. I was able to sit next to about 50 of my closest friends, and listen to 5 beautiful women sing to my soul for 4 hours. The only sucky part of the night was trying to get out of the parking lot, which took over an hour to do.If you get the chance to catch this tour in your city you should absolutely go if you can. You won't be sorry.

Friday, July 29, 2005

Hidden workout secret in St. Louis

When you find something really good it's hard to keep quiet about it. Befrore I tell you what I found let me put this disclaimer out there... I hate cardio. I don't just sort of hate it. I loathe it. Unfortunately, I can't get away from doing cardio altogether. Be that as it may I can't sit in one place for 30,45 or 60 minutes. I get bored way too easily. This reality finds me outdoors more times than not looking for new places to run. I hate running so I don't usually do tracks I need scenery to distract me. Well, I found one of the most challenging yet scenic places to run in the St. Louis area. Many people take advantage of the bike/jogging/rollerblading track that surrounds Creve Couer Lake. In fact it has been one of my changeup spots for running since last year. But directly across the street heading up into the park there is a hidden set of steps. 222 of them to be exact. The lengths of the steps vary as they wind through a picturesque woodland scene, and when you get to the last run of steps your legs are like lead and on fire. Its not just something to be enjoyed by hardcore fitness buffs. I have taken several of my clients down there to walk the steps. If you are unused to exercise I wouldn't recommend going up and down more than twice as you will almost assuredly be sore the next day (that's a total of 888 steps by the way). For some, once up and down may be plenty. I am able to cut my total cardio time in half because the vertical distance provides so much more intensity (especially if you are sprinting up and jogging down).

Directions: The easiest way to find these steps is to take I-270 to Dorsett Rd and head west. Dorsett will dead end at Marine Ave, and you will want to make a right at the stoplight. You will pass the entrance to Greensfelder Memorial and then the 1st entrance to the lake's parking on your left. Once you pass that make the very 1st available right. Follow it back in towards the corner of the park and Marine Avenue. You will see a gravel path heading into the woods. This leads to the first run of steps. There is a way to park at the top of the steps by going through the park itself, but when you are tired and want to walk back to your car would you rather walk up the steps or down them?

I hope to see some of you out there. The view of the lake as the sun cuts across it and filters through the canopy of leaves as you round the last 4 sets of steps is absolutely breathtaking.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Sorry, It's been a minute

I have had a full life recently and not enough time to get online to type in my blog. Gigi and I had another jacked up dining experience that looked something like a peach pit in a burger patty at Applebee's the manager tried to make it better by a free order of wings that they rushed (and since they rushed they came out bloody). My meal was free but I still had to pay for Gigi's. Quita said she wouldnt have paid for jack. I don't got it like that apparently. I've been spending more time in the gym lately and have been cruising through Raymond Feist books like Japanese giant hornets through a honeybee hive (see the National Geographic Channel's special called swarms- the toxin from the Japanese giant hornet dissolves human flesh! Have fun Adam). I'm trying to find another job... anyone in St. Louis, help! Umm and if you need a personal trainer, come holla at me. Wishing everyone who happens to view this page an abundance of love and tranquility within your life, and until our paths may cross again may God continue to bless you.

Your IQ Is 130
Your Logical Intelligence is Genius
Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius
Your Mathematical Intelligence is Genius
Your General Knowledge is Above Average
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